Soundtracks to a Healthy Life

They say that music is a language of its own, that the powers of music are overwhelmingly strong. Most things in life wouldn’t be around if not for the inspirations by music. That’s why I am going to take you through a selection of soundtracks that are completely necessary for full life potential and fulfillment. Life just isn’t worth living without the influences from this selection.

You are going to wonder how you managed to get this far without the aid of the following soundtracks.

You’ve gotten this far, so you’re obviously curious about what soundtracks are inevitable for you to run across at some point in life. Maybe these compilations will be ominously be dropped from a higher place for you to pick up, or maybe, just maybe, you just have these in storage somewhere.

Dumb & Dumber: Original Motion Picture Soundtrack

Just ask yourself for one moment why you don’t have this album? I am looking at all of you right now.

Origins: No one is sure who first came up with the score of Dumb & Dumber, and at this point I don’t think anybody cares.

Why It’s Important: Ever get into a sticky situation and had to murder for self-defense? Maybe you like the taste of blood? Grab yourself a CD player and hitch-hike somewhere to spread the importance that is in this soundtrack for instant redemption! This happens to work for all sins, as well. Killing in the name of the official Dumb & Dumber soundtrack is the only way to go.

I am undecided on this album outside of it being the only way to successfully win any legal court case against you. Keep the cult of Dumb & Dumber soundtrack owners to the minimum; the power the CD contains is far too much for the world to know about it.

Closing Thoughts: What is an Echobelly? I don’t know. Some raccoon or something.


Halloween Hootenanny

These monsters are here to be sure that you never forget that Halloween happens once every year, and must always be written in horror-type fonts with an orange color and black shadow effects. Frankenstein is looking like he found some money in his wallet, and soon you will feel the same!

Origins: This CD was made to give you the sensation of Halloween every day! It might be March one month, but any time you want you are free to listen to Wolfman, Mummy and Frankenstein give you their hits based upon popular Halloween tunes of “Ghastly Echoes,” “Creaky Door Opening,” “Evil Laugh 2” and “Woman Terrified Screaming 8.”

Why It’s Important: Well, obviously stated, you can use this CD in virtually every situation that calls for a “Ghost Spinning in Bathtub” sound effect. Bring it to a wake at a funeral home and you can enlighten the mood by letting them know that, while their family is dead, at least nobody is being chased and/or eaten by a “Purple People Eater.” Guaranteed smiles.

Closing Thoughts: Their band, while good, does not have a percussionist.


Classic TV Game Show Themes

There isn’t a time in anyone’s life that can’t be enhanced by “Theme of the $25,000 Pyramid” and this CD boasts that fact tremendously. The hypnotizing effect in the background was no accident and this album did not get educated at a meat farm.

Origins: Aside from the ever-pondering question of “what would life be like if I could hit ‘play’ on my CD player and hear the ponderous music from Jeopardy?” this CD has the meaning of life wrapped up in its jewel case. Forged by the gods and given an okay by Steven Spielberg, this compilation disc is more than the only place on Earth to hear those holy anthems, it’s a lesson in life; a lesson to never forget that no matter what, you can hear The Newlywed Game‘s closing credits song in a time of tragedy.

Why It’s Important: I can’t think of a time in my life that wouldn’t shine to complete harmony without the soothing sounds of game show music. I mean this CD has been spread around the world! Celebrities endorse it and the religious already have this CD to play during ceremonies; I’ve even heard of some weddings using some jingles from the official song selection of Wheel of Fortune, so frankly enough, this disc is important because everyone has it but you. Having this CD is a way to curb your bad habits and replace them with game show themes.

You, go! There’s not much time left.

Closing Thoughts: If you know the artists that performed said-themes, then you are a disciple and contact me right away so we can work out an arrangement for exchanging knowledge and Jell-O preparation secrets.


Romeo! TV Show (The Season)

This final selection should come as no surprise, as no life is worth it without the mesmeric feeling that you have Romeo! TV Show (The Season) collected on a shelf, enshrined by its own greatness.

Origins: Master P’s biological entity.

Why It’s Important: When you got the tough reputation of being a son of the rap mogul Master P, growing up in born-fame with millions upon millions of dollars to maintain and spend at will, life is just too hard. I guess no matter what Romeo does, his street cred will be known in the songs on my playlist in “Romeo Show Theme” and “Bobble Head” from the soundtrack. Knowing how it is to be a suburban thug might come in handy the next time your house gets robbed. Will them away with your rhymes, not your bat.

Closing Thoughts: Lil’ Romeo is here to stay and I have a feeling that his hit TV show will make splashes on the air and be the most successful, serious TV drama since I Love Lucy. Having the soundtrack is the most necessary thing in maintaining a happy and healthy lifestyle.


4 Responses to “Soundtracks to a Healthy Life”

  1. Jennifer Says:

    Someone left a copy of the Dumb and Dumber soundtrack on cassette in my car years and years ago. And so I listened to it. And there’s actually some good stuff on there (not all, but some). Thanks for the reminder.

  2. Yeah, plus now you can kill people legally.

  3. i just luv watching lil romeo on tv he is cute aswell lol every1 says he is. he has a nice name he is lucky to have millions and millions of money.

  4. Good Post. Can you email me back, please. Thank you.

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