Wasting Time in Liberty City

To the handful of people whom frequent this site, sincere apologies about lack of updates but this is due to two reasons: College/work and a little game by the name of Digital Crack IV Grand Theft Auto IV. Yep, the murder simulation game that everyone is talking about. So it comes to no surprise that this next generation iteration of the franchise is getting incredible, rave reviews across the board.

In this article, I will detail the fun little things to do and sights to see in the digital world of Liberty City.

Physics Are Phun!

Mechanics in this game have gotten quite the upgrade compared to the previous GTA games. We are not talking about a simple nip and tuck, but a whole goddamn makeover.

The physics have been overhauled with the use of NaturalMotion’s Euphoria animation system. Push someone into some train tracks and will realistically tumble to their impending doom. It is asshole physics at their best! No, really, it’s loads of fun. Go over the docks and shove people over into the water! It’s a lot more gratuitous than in previous GTA’s which was infamous for their stiff, predictable pedestrian physics.

No Strike for You, Buddy

Like in San Andreas, there are a preposterous amount of mini-games you can enjoy like bowling and darts. These are mostly used in the social aspects of the game but are offered as a novelty to kill time when you’re not busy bumping hookers and running over cops. Although juvenile, I like to go the bowling alleys and purposely sit in front of the lane that’s already being used. Watch as a frustrated AI throws his/her arms up in the air when I kick their bowling ball to the gutter. Nothing more invigorating than being a complete dick to total strangers!

Aim for the Head

A seemingly minuscule feature was added into GTA IV which lets you pick up certain objects off the ground and toss them at unsuspecting passerbys. All you have to do is shove a person holding a cup of coffee or their Whiz mobile phone, pick up the item they dropped, and toss it back at them. Hell, epic police chases have started when I threw a fresh, hot cup of Starbucks a cop was holding and chucked it back at his dome piece.

Visit the (Beating) Heart of the City

Not to be outdone by the infamous literal easter egg in Vice City, the Statue of Happiness holds more than the American spirit of the city, but also its heart… literally. When you get the chance to, set up a Free Mode game in multiplayer, grab a helicopter, and drop on in on the upper base of the statue. Be sure to check in the door with the snarky “No hidden content this way” plaques. Once inside, head up the ladder and enjoy one of the most disturbing easter eggs in any GTA game.

The Statue of Hillary (Comes with free t-shirt)

Speaking of which, the statue itself has a face only a blue state would love. That’s right, Hillary Clinton’s mug is slapped on the head of the statue. Encompassed with an over enthusiastic smile that is reminiscent of the “DO IT FAGGOT” internet meme; make that two disturbing easter eggs with a side order of bacon.

Also, if you have the time, stop by the base of the statue to get a free t-shirt. Remember, it isn’t worth the trip if you don’t get any free schwag!

King of the Kong (Multiplayer)

The ‘Free Mode’ option in multiplayer allows you and 15 of your degenerate friends to cause havoc and mayhem on the entire map of Liberty City. So it comes to no surprise that a lot of people create their own custom games. In this case, 4-8 players set themselves up with RPGs and get on top of the Chrysler building knock-off and shoot at the rest of the players who are in apache helicopters equipped with miniguns. Recreate the infamous scene from King Kong sans the giant gorilla and biplanes!

You could also do this on other architectural marvels too like the GetaLife building and the Statue of Happiness.

Silent Assassin (Multiplayer)

In the same vein of your own custom game in Free Mode, except this time blip indicators are turned off to where the player is at. 2-4 players is recommended and one player becomes the assassin. The rest cower in fear in between bushes and dark corners of the city. (Optional: Set it at night time for ultimate stealthy mischief)

Rocket Tag (Multiplayer)

A simple deathmatch game where everyone has rockets. Have it become increasingly epic and chaotic with 16 players shoot it out to save their own skin. Just make sure to turn the cops off and the traffic high for less nuisance and bigger explosions!

Team Snipers (Multiplayer)

Like Rocket tag, only with sniper rifles. May the best sharpshooter come out on top. Make it a team deathmatch game and have it be reminiscent of its Halo 3 counterpart.

There are plenty more variations you can do to make the multiplayer component more refreshing. Plus with the Free Mode option, they’ll be new and creative matchtypes to come. Perhaps Rockstar Games will listen to their fans and incorporate fan-made game types into the ranked system. Infection/Zombie Mode, anyone?

-Pyro

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10 Responses to “Wasting Time in Liberty City”

  1. I basically need this game, right now.

  2. pfft…saints row 2 is going to be fuCKen OWnnnnnnnn this crap.

  3. zakkarywylde Says:

    fuck da police

  4. lol saints row, what a joke

  5. Destruction-Overdrive Says:

    Ill try some of those single player suggestion what with PS3’s multi-player being all buggered up.

  6. Digi Crack son!

    I haven’t even jumped on Multi yet

  7. I need rehab!!

    Global Warming Alarmists Beware… http://www.EvilCarbon.com

  8. Sounds Hawt.

  9. MErkleguy Says:

    Saints Row was a joke, white pimps in purple coats??

    PLease

    (dnt get all funny im white as well)

  10. shootthebandit Says:

    speaking of custom free roam games. why not team drive-bys or team pickup truck battles. hopefully ill get it tomorrow or monday

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