RAW. Rinse. Repeat 3/17/08 – RAW Is Pointing to the WM24 Sign

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3/17/08

Welcome one and all to the premiere edition of RAW. Rinse. Repeat! To quote and paraphrase Chris Jericho, I am your party host, Karl, and I’m here to delight you and excite you. This column aims to be a humorous and witty (if you can call it that) analysis of the product WWE puts out every Monday night, RAW, along with some random comments along the way; hoping to be at least a little bit insightful and informative as well.

The first edition starts with the 3/17/08 episode, with Triple H in charge of the “Triple Threat Takeover,” which promises a very big main event, literally: Randy Orton and John Cena taking on the ENTIRE RAW ROSTER!

Before I start, I’d like to apologize for the delays, I’ve had a lot of crap happening this week, so it’s been hectic. The RAW. Rinse. Repeats will be posted up earlier from now on.

RAW Is Pointing to the WM24 Sign for 3/17/08

Opening promo – Highlight Reel with Chris Jericho (Special Guest Big Show)

I actually liked this segment, but I also like Show and Jericho so take that for what you will. The jabs these two took at each other were pretty good, especially Jericho’s stabs at Big Show, and it set up a match later in the night: Y2J vs Big Show for the IC Title (AKA nothing). Personally I thought Jericho was on his game tonight, heeling it up. He works MUCH better as a heel. At least the IC title will get, you know, DEFENDED NOW.

And I’m SICK of Mayweather. Fucking black hole of charisma and talent.

Vince, stay off my TV. You aren’t funny, you aren’t cute, and you aren’t entertaining. The street fight tonight with Flair should be good though.

Match 1: CM Punk def. Carlito

Fucking hell I hate Punk’s shirt, it looks RETARDED. Carlito’s isn’t much better, though. “Afro man” or “Ribcage”? Hmm, NEITHER. Match wasn’t bad, but it was just missing something. I loved the G2S counter by Carlito, and CM Punk’s roundhouse was SICK. Punk and Carlito seem to work well together, and I wouldn’t mind seeing them in the ring again down the road. ***

Sign point count: 1

Snoop Dogg was hilarious in this segment, and so was Santino. I LOVE Santino, and hearing Snoop say “boobies?” Man, that was fucking hilarious.

Match 2: Umaga def. Paul London/Brian Kendrick

Total fucking squash, but the story was twofold: Getting Umaga over before WM24, and Spanky walking out on London. Now, how long before this angle is dropped I don’t know, but I would love to see the matches between them. Also, Umaga’s double Samoan drop? Pure awesome. *1 1/4

Sign point count: 2

Triple H and Regal bickering in the back was good, and Regal had a good point: Why didn’t Triple H just strip Orton of the title and put it on himself? Triple H has never cared about how he got the title, why should he care now?

WWE’s video production crew all deserve raises. They consistently put out some amazing promo videos and packages.

Vince gets a Walk of Fame star… right next to Kermit. In complete character. Wow. The only thing he’s ever done in Hollywood is put out shitty movies and make me hate John Cena even more than I already do.

HBK/Flair make a great promo.

The new WM24 theme song is way better than that stupid Red Hot Chili Peppers song.

Match 3: JBL def. Colin Delaney

JBL cut a great promo before the match. Another squash, but incredibly entertaining because Colin can sell like no other. I fucking love JBL, and I’m looking so forward to Finlay bathing in his blood at Wrestlemania. **

Match 4: Ric Flair def. Vince McMahon (Street Fight)

Now THIS was a good match, I think everything about it clicked, and was thoroughly enjoyable. HBK interfering kind of ruined the ending, but all in all I really liked this match. *** 3/4

Why the fuck was Jared (yes, the guy from Subway) on RAW!? At least it likely helped making one of the comedy moments of the year, though.
Maria & Candice def. Jillian and Victoria

DUD. Nothing else to say, this was total piss break material. Jillian yet again botches a 450, and Paul London weeps in the back. Santino on commentary was golden though The post match however was AMAZING, with Santino cheap-shotting Lawler and stealing his sandwich. JERRY “STUPID” LAWLER is classic.

… Again, fuck Mayweather.

Match 5: Big Show def. via DQ Chris Jericho (IC Title Match)

Short, short match, ended with Jericho getting DQ’d and then being laid out by Show. Meh. **

I fucking hate Big Dick Johnson. Man I hate a lot of things don’t I?

Definitely looking forward to the RAW Title match at WM.

Cena and Orton’s little argument in the back was good for what it was. Neither of them wanted to lay down, of course. Trips needs to stop being in every segment though, it gets OLD.

MAIN EVENT – WWE Champion Randy Orton and John Cena vs. the Entire RAW Roster (No Contest)

I fucking LOVED this match. Everything about it was just great. It made Cena and Orton look good, and it didn’t really hurt any of the roster. Val Venis looking like Cena shot DH Smith was hilarious, too. Seriously, his face had THAT sort of shock look to it.

The end was expected though, with Triple H pedigreeing both Cena and Orton and standing tall in the end. ***

Sign point count: 3

All in all, this was a good RAW, with a couple of “meh” segments, and too much fucking Mayweather and Vince crap. I give it a solid 7/10.

Well there you have it for the inaugural edition of RAW. Rinse. Repeat! I will be back sometime next week with another edition, and possibly a WrestleMania 24 review.

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