The Man. The Legend. ‘Air Cro.’

(Article best read while listening to “Penile Drip” by GWAR)

Let me tell y’all something, Austin Croshere is for real, no matter what the media tells you.

Yes that’s right, there is a media bias against the legend that is “Air Cro.” Everyone remembers Kobe’s 81 point game, right? Well guess what, two seasons ago, the Cro took flight and put up 84 points I don’t remember THAT getting any airtime. Maybe it was the fact that Kobe’s condoms were still far up the media’s asses.

Now, I follow basketball about as close as anyone, and I have to be completely honest and say that I hadn’t heard about this either… I was tipped off by an anonymous source (likely Croshere himself.) I swear this man is amazing…

Evidence:

The Beast.

 

Look at that freaking stat line. All we heard about was freaking’ Bryant’s monster game where he got 81 and this freaking guy put up 3 more points then Bryant… *sigh*

Did I mention that he looks freaking serious? Look at that face – solid as a rock.

If Samuel L. Jackson were in a movie with him (hint-hint Hollywood), the write up for the screenplay would look like this:

————————————————-

INT. OUTDOOR BASKETBALL COURT- NIGHT

AUSTIN CROSHERE, A TALL WHITE GUT WITH A PERM WHO GOES BY THE STREET NAME ‘THE CRO FRO’ STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COURT WITH A BALL IN HAND, HE HAS HES SERIOUS FACE

CUT TO JACKSON’S CHARACTER WALKING ONTO THE COURT, HE STARES AT CRO WITH A STEREOTYPICAL JACKSON LOOK. THEIR EYES LOCK FOR A GOOD FIVE SECONDS AND THEN AS THE PRESSURE GETS TO JACKSON’S CHARACTER, HE SPEAKS.

JACKSON:

“This motherfucking cracker is motherfucking serious.”

JACKSON FAINTS AND DIES FROM THE PRESSURE. CRO JUST LOOKS DOWN ON HIM AND SAYS:

CRO FRO:

It’s a thugs life.

CRO STARTS BREAKDANCING.

————————————————-

Anyway… wow… um… back to the point at hand:

How does this happen? How does the media let this slide by without bringing attention to the public the mass megaton-ness of a 32 year old non-athletic white guy from L.A. setting the second highest scoring tally in a game (with 8 rebounds.) How does an INSPIRATION like this go unnoticed?

This is an abomination! Maybe it’s the fact that Kobe lets Marv Albert bite himself on the back?

I can tell you one thing though; Air Cro will not subject himself to the disgrace of selling out to the American media big shot market; this man is all heart.

Look for an update in the future on this story as I investigate basketball stars playing video games.

—–

Preview for Next Week: How to sit on the bench and make 20 Million Dollars, starring Keith Van Horn.

Image from ViewImages

 

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