The reason there’s not much going on here is because we’re going to do a relaunch in the Winter of sorts, or something.  WordPress is ass, you can’t edit the layout, and…it’s just ass seriously that’s about it. The site admin got locked out of his account, and if it hadn’t of happened there’d probably be more posts here.  As a lazy person, I tried to keep this place going.  So yeah, there will be an update.

As you can clearly see, I’ve been completely busy dialing 1-900-BITCHZ instead of posting here.  Sorry about that. I have been given a message from and I quote “The Man” and he says “TFE is not dead, it will be back and further info will be posted here as it comes. It won’t be long, and we all thank you for continuing the support for the site!” So yeah, put on your seatbelt or sit in Shia Lebouf’s lap to wear the seatbelt because this is going to be an awesome adventure, you hear me?  An Adventure!

Right as I managed to bail, this female NPC skater just screwed up.  It’s horrifying!

They see what you two did there.

Someone’s gonna get in trouble for having cute 16 year-old-gold-medal-winning-olympic-gymnast Shawn Johnson say the above line.   Seriously, what the hell were they thinking?  The writer must’ve been a pedophile or something.

More like, “This is gas price complaint number what, 12? Gas price complaint number 12″.  We get the damn idea that gas prices are too high, but you know it won’t change anytime soon.

I’ve seen alot of glitches in my time, but nothingis more terrible, stupid, and downright hilarious as this.

Ok so I’m returning a Punt as the Cowboys right? I fumble, and I don’t like that, so I do the EA Sports Rewind and in the middle of the rewind, the booth challenges the fumble, reversing the call! This led to Donovan McNabb and his O-line just standing there on the next play FROZEN COMPLETELY even if I have posession! Next thing you know my O-Line is not too far off, then suddenly the ball is shot off towards my offensive lineman and I run and get tackled. Confused by it, I rewinded it, ran the play (what you see here), and scored a fucking touchdown! My phone eventually didn’t have enough battery power to catch this weirdness in full, but you get the general idea seeing as the field is open.  This is horrible because now I have a touchdown scored by an offensive lineman, who caught a pass that shot straight up from the ground, meanwhile dodging the Eagles offensive line!

What the hell just happened?  Am I high? Am I drunk?  Did the porn I look at earlier corrupt my fragile little mind?  I don’t know, but what just happened needs to be fixed.  Which is ironic considering before I started this game, I downloaded the latest EA update for the game.  Go figure.

EDIT: As of Halftime, it says that the play was a rushing touchdown.  Wow.

spoonbank is awesome.

In honor of the 20th anniversary of this game coming out, I present to you a montage of hilarious proportions from Madden ‘92 which me and the fellow writers for this site laugh at every now and then, also if there is no Web Wednesday then this is it right here, folks.

P.S., I got my Collectors Edition copy on the midnight release.

Slipknot makes a triumphant return into the unexpected lyrical spotlight with this latest issue, along with a song from a totally similar band: Creedence Clearwater Revival.

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1. Wait and Bleed by Slipknot; from the album “Slipknot.” Click Here to Listen

May I ask…Who is Michelle? He is saying, “Inside Michelle I wait and bleed” right? If I ever get a chance to meet Corey Taylor, I will have to ask him about the history of his person and why they fit into the song; it will be at least very interesting!

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2. Liberate by Slipknot; from the album “Slipknot.” Click Here to Listen

So this song was also featured on the first edition of unexpected song lyrics; Listen here to hear him yell about liberating bananas.

In this new clip from the song, we hear him say “sexin’ on myself.” So, when you take into consideration how it is the next sung lyric after the barrage of the liberation of fresh bananas, it makes me wonder what the hell the song is really about. Liberate bananas, sexin’ on myself? All right…

I guess I’ll have to listen to the song even MORE closely and try to crack this code.

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3. No Life by Slipknot; from the album “Slipknot.” Click Here to Listen

MORE Slipknot?!

I agree with this lyric whole-heartily, “No time to fly.” Sure, it might not be exactly “misheard” but think about how true it is to the current date of affairs: with all the extra security measures and the high prices, this is definitely no time to fly. Stay home and save your money for something useful.

Another reason I love this meaningful lyric is the timelessness of it. The album Iowa was written in 2001, and this bit of philosophy still stands firm today. Whether it be from fears of terrorist activities or the extra price in the ticket…just don’t freakin’ fly.

And on a side note. So far we are liberating bananas inside Michelle (while bleeding) and declaring that it is no time to fly…

What else is in this damn CD?!

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4. People = Shit by Slipknot; from the album “Iowa.” Click Here to Listen

So…people = shit…but “London’s all right”? K. This CD is weird as hell.

5. Proud Mary by Creedence Clearwater Revival; from the album “Bayou Country.” Click Here to Listen

I’m guessing John Fogery has alot of illegitimate kids in New Orleans if he “humped a lot of things” down there. Maybe he should have played for the NBA? It would have fit right in!

Hell they can make a SNBA: Senior National Basketball Association. Cheap shot and joke, but tell me it wouldn’t be hilarious with a straight face.

Announcer: “Fogerty to Kemp for the dunk!”

http://skate.share.ea.com/profiles/51496/posts/1176976.aspx

WAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHH!

UPDATE: I just got neutured!

OH SHIT, SCREW WATCHING THIS GUY GETTING THROWN IN JAIL, LETS GET THE FUCK OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

The best part about this entire video is the fact that the Plaintiff and Defendant just stand there, with barely any reaction to the quake. If anybody is wondering about the site’s lack of updates, just please stick with us, there will still be new, original written content added here regularly!

If this video somehow doesn’t do anything, or justice (HA!) for you, then maybe this next video will after the jump, which features groundbreaking (LOL) candid footage of people in the July 29th quake!

So I’ve been weighing my thoughts for over a month, and I’ve come to a conclusion. And not just any conclusion, either. But a conclusion that the mere mention of which, I’m fairly sure, is going to piss off a good number of people who don’t want to listen to logic, and is going to get me cheers from people who didn’t care about logic to begin with. I should note that I’ll be glad to respond to all instances of these types of reactions with a good old fashioned middle finger and a scowl. But if you’re someone with a mind that’s open to reason and logic, maybe you’ll understand why I’m going on record with the following statement. I’m glad George Carlin is dead.

As I type this, part of me wonders just how many people are going to throw comments at me without clicking that break. Just how many people are going to take my statement, smear their preconceptions all over it without reading any of my reasoning behind it, and spew their opinions all over me? Then the rest of me screams out “Fuck all of them!” and I feel at ease again. I think a special “fuck you” should go out to the supposed Carlin fans that I’m pretty sure are going to send me messages full of misspelled death threats and accusations regarding my sexuality because of that one italicized sentence. And that same “fuck you” goes for the people that condemn Carlin because of his foul mouth and “take no shit” attitude. So here it is.

“FUCK YOU.”

Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’m going to talk a little bit about George Carlin and why I made that statement regarding my feelings after his death. I’m not going to talk about the ins and outs of his life before he started performing, nor am I going to link to his comedy material or anything like that. I’m going to talk about what I’m always going to remember about him. And the main thing that I’m always going to remember about Carlin is that he was smart. In fact, he was smart in more ways than one. First his mind was able to cut through the blinding fog of ignorance that blankets way too many of the world’s people, and form his own thoughts and ideas. That’s impressive right there, but that’s not all. He was also smart enough to figure out that the best way to get others to open their eyes to all the bullshit around them and to start thinking on their own without regard for what the world has been hypnotized into thinking is “appropriate” was by making them laugh at a basic, angry, visceral level that the common man is able to comprehend. As a side note to this aspect of his intelligence, he also figured out that this kind of comedy is a great way to let off steam, yell obscenities, and make a pretty good living at the same time.

I’m willing to bet that by this point you’re wondering why, seeing as I clearly have a great deal of respect for George Carlin, am I glad that he’s dead? The answer is simple enough; Because I want his messages and his way of thinking to spread. Think about it for a minute. Who are the people that have bought cd’s, dvd’s, books, calendars, and everything else that Carlin put his hand to? The majority of the products went into the hands of people who were already fans of his, people who are already familiar with his way of thinking and are willing to take the grains of wisdom sprinkled in amongst his jokes to heart. At least I hope they’re willing to do such. But what about the uninitiated? What about the people who brushed him off as just another ranting comedian? Sad as it may be, geniuses are rarely appreciated to the degree they should be in their own lifetime. I don’t know what it is about a person dying, but something about it causes a little switch in a lot of peoples’ brains to trip and they suddenly think that maybe they should give some attention to the work that the dead person did before they cashed in their chips.

That’s why I’m glad George Carlin is dead. Because now that he’s not around anymore, I’m hoping that a hell of a lot more of the population will stop dismissing him as “that angry comedian” and give some of his stuff a chance. See, as much as old George made us laugh, he also handed out good advice about not falling in with the mundane and letting the government and big business do all your thinking for you. I think that he’d want more people to cut through that fog of ignorance like he did, and just maybe get things to the point where the smart people outnumber the ignorant just for a change of pace.

Granted, I could have made my thoughts on the matter known in a manner that would be more “respectful” looking from the outside in. But I’m thinking there’s a chance, slim as it may be, that making that blunt statement in italics before the break will draw peoples’ attention to this better than starting out with a boring-ass eulogy for the guy. And that’s one of the lessons that Carlin taught his fans in no uncertain terms: “Take a fucking chance!”

From Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater.

I am going to say this and get it out of the way here: Go see this movie.

Yeah, it’s a little blunt but hey, that’s what the majority of the people who have seen this movie will tell you if asked about their overall opinion. Hell, it even exceeded the box office earnings of Sam Raimi’s Spiderman 3. Not because of the recent death of Heath Ledger, but because the Nolan brothers captured something magical in this sequel to the reboot of the Batman movie franchise.

So, what is it? Find out after the jump…

People will remember the Joel Schumacher Batman movies and how thin they were in terms of depth and character development. In other words, they we’re all flash but no flesh. (I hope to god that isn’t a title for an obscure afghani porno…) However, along came the Nolan Brothers and pretty much redefined what a super hero movie should be: Fleshed-out characters, beautiful cinematography, and of course, memorable villains that we like more than the heroes themselves.

In 2005’s Batman Begins, the seeds were planted. It was more critically acclaimed than past attempts at the Batman movie franchise and put more optimism in the diets of many fans of the comic series. Although the movie had its flaws, such as the sense of claustrophobia and weak villains, it was still a good entry to the series.

The Dark Knight took what Begins had developed and evolved it into a great piece of cinema culminating a well-developed story, interesting characters, and of course, The Joker. Yeah, admit it, you payed full price just so you could see Heath Ledger’s beautifully executed rendition of the Joker. Unlike the Jokers played by Cesar Romero and Jack Nicholson, Dark Knight’s Joker was an embodiment of pure evil. A grungy-looking sadist with a blood lust for total anarchy.

The relationship between Bruce Wayne/Batman and the Joker paints a picture of order and total chaos. In short, Bruce wants to keep the sanctity of Gotham while Joker wants to, essentially, burn it down. All of this plays into the inevitable downfall of Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), the city’s beacon of all that is good and prosper. To quote the madman himself, “…I’m a wrench in the gears.”

People whom we’re a little disappointed by the overall setting of Begins will happy to know that Knight is more broad in scope. The movie feels more open and less condensed with the filming of the skyscrapers of Chicago and Hong Kong. Also, the drab sepia/brown tone in Begins is tossed in favor of a more moody blue hue set throughout different parts of the movie.

Some of the supporting character’s roles are well executed. Lt. James Gordon’s (Gary Oldman) character is more developed than when he was first introduced in Batman Begins. Between him, Bruce, and Dent, he can kick ass and hold out on his own. The dynamics between Harvey and Rachel Dawes (Maggie Gyllenhaal) is alright but personally, I am not a big fan of love triangles in movies involving a homicidal clown and a entrepreneur with awesome gadgets.

All and all though, this is a movie you must see. Forget that Mama Mia! bullshit, this is what you should be wasting your $12 on.